Working with resistant staff members can be frustrating. The resistant person may be a teacher, an office staff member, or someone who works directly with your child. If, despite your best efforts, you are still having problems with agency staff, use some of the following strategies:

1. First, try to resolve the problem with the person directly. Don’t go to the person’s supervisor or the agency director until you have talked to the person one-to-one. You don’t want to burn bridges, because you may have to deal with that person later on. On the other hand, if it’s a problem that involves abuse or unethical behavior, talk to the person’s supervisor immediately.
   
   
2. Before you call, make sure you have your facts straight. Many people find it helpful to make notes about how the problem arose, writing down dates and specific details. Have this list in front of you before you make the first call. When you make the call:

• Focus only on the information that is related to the problem.
• Know what your rights are. As a parent, you have many rights protected under the law. If you want more information about your rights, talk to a parent advocate.

3. Next steps

• When you make the call, and the person is out of the office, leave a brief message, with your name, a description of what you want to talk about, your phone number and when you can be reached. If the person doesn’t return your call, call them back. You may have to call them back several times.
• Keep your notes handy so when the person returns your call, you can refer to them quickly. Express yourself clearly and calmly, so that you can get your message across. State your concerns and be specific about how you would like the problem resolved.
• Be respectful. Assert yourself, but don’t be rude, aggressive or threatening. When you act like this, people become defensive, and are less likely to want to work on solutions to problems. On the other hand, keep your goal in mind at all times so you won’t be taken advantage of.
• Document all your conversations. Get a notebook to keep records of all your phone conversations, the conversation topics and any goals that were set.

4. Follow-up

• Be prepared to follow-up on what you say you are going to do.
• Don’t make any promises you know you won’t be able to keep. You are advocating for your child. Be firm and persistent.
• If you’ve tried all the suggestions above, and the problem still hasn’t been resolved, talk to the person’s supervisor, or call the director of the agency. Follow the same steps listed above when you talk to the director or supervisor.
• If, after talking to the director, you still haven’t solved the problem, call a legal rights or advocacy group. Find out if there is a formal complaint process through which you can register a complaint.